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Mind Map That! 2010

by Mind Map That

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about

Songs on this album were added throughout the year as they are created. Each song has a video. Watch all the videos here: youtube.com/mindmapthat Read the blog behind the songs: mindmapthat.com

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released April 9, 2010

Kara E. Sherman

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Mind Map That Columbus, Ohio

Mind Map That is a blog of comedy videos and music. The person behind MMT is Kara. Kara is also 1/2 of Team Smile and Nod. Collaborative creativity is encouraged! Everything on MMT is released under a Creative Commons License that allows anyone to remix, mash-up, share, use, modify, warp, re-do, re-whateva' the content as long as it's for noncommercial purposes and credit is given. ... more

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Track Name: Head in the Clouds
LYRICS:
I've got my head in the clouds...
Metaphorically...
And now physically...
I've got my head... in the clouds.
Track Name: Organ Donor
LYRICS:
My mother was an organ donor
Somebody has my mother's eyes.

My mother died
They took her eyes
And mailed us a certificate
Saying "thank you for this gift of sight"

Now I can't help but to think
That someone's looking through my mother's eyes
And I wonder if it helps them with their life
Besides...
The obvious...
Gift...
Of sight...

My mother was an organ donor
Somebody has my mother's eyes.
Track Name: Dead Flesh (Would You Like a Sandwich, Please?)
LYRICS:
Dead flesh, carcass
Would you like a sandwich, please?
I drained the blood and sliced them up
Would you like a sandwich, please?

No one ever sees the killing
No one ever hears them scream
No one ever sees the killing
We just call them meat.

Dead flesh, carnage
Would you like a sandwich, please?
I drained the blood and sliced them up
Would you like a sandwich, please?

No one ever sees the killing
No one ever hears them scream
No one ever sees the killing
We just call them meat.
Track Name: Caffeine Love Affair (a.k.a. Coffee! Yah!)
LYRICS:
Hey there caffeine, I love you in the morning
You lift my spirits when my lips meet that cup

Then mid-morning, I feel you a –callin’
And sometimes meet you for a super-quick gulp

But would you catch me if I were falling
Would you give me breath to breathe?
Do you love me when you’re w/o me?
My friends are sayin’ you’re not what you seem

Hey there caffeine, you made me so mean
When I drank you and you-ooo wore off

Then in the evening, you’re nowhere to be seen
Cuz’ I can’t drink you after 5 o’clock
Or I stay UP, UP, UP!
Track Name: How Do Lesbians Have Sex?
LYRICS:
She was earnest, she was serious
She just really wanted to know- anything that I would tell
She was curious, she was incredulous
She was searching for her truth, wondering if it would include…

CHORUS:
A 70 year old woman on a quest- to find out if she’s in the closet
But first she must know- the science behind the show
How do lesbians have sex?
She asked me- how do lesbians have sex?
She understood how 2 guys do, but-
How do lesbians have sex?

She threw me off, in disbelief
Surprised to hear those words - requesting adjectives and verbs
I said I need- some time to think
So I ran through my head- how to answer that requests
From a…

CHORUS

So I thought- it all through
And decided that I must- answer and not put it off
And what I said- blew her mind
She just couldn’t believe what people are doing these days

CHORUS
Track Name: Mosquitoes: Blood on Tap
LYRICS:
Mosquito restaurant on my legs
Open 24 hours a day

Mosquito pub on my legs
Blood on tap is here to stay

Itchy, itchy, bump, bump...

Mosquito potluck on my legs
No one brought a dish to share
they just eat my legs...

Itchy, itchy, bump, bump...
Track Name: Fexting
WORDS:
Walking down the street and I see a friend
But I don’t really want to talk to them
Start fexting
Wha?
Fake texting
Oh.

I got to work the same time as my boss
Walking through the parking lot she wants to talk
Start fexting
Wha?
Fake texting
Oh.

Just get out your phone
Open it up
Pretend to type a message so you don’t have to talk
That’s fexting
Wha?
Fake texting
Oh.
I said fexting
Hot!
Fake texting
Fexting.
Track Name: Banjo the Ferret Song
LYRICS:

Wednesday night
We had a little fright
As we pulled into our driveway
There was a box in sight
A bag of food and a note
The note said Banjo the ferret’s inside

Banjo was abandoned
In 90 degree summer heat
Banjo was abandoned
Who could be so mean?

When we opened the box
Pencil holes on the top
And duct tape securing the lid
The tape was loose
The water dish flipped
Inside there was no ferret

Banjo was abandoned
And Banjo had made her escape!
Banjo was abandoned
Who could be such a creep?

We left out water and food
And we left the scene
Until the next evening
When we searched again
And called her name
As we put out food
Around the corner she came!

Banjo was abandoned
She escaped and she came back!
Banjo was abandoned
Does anyone want a ferret?


We had a lot of fun with this little song about Banjo. But Banjo is a real life ferret. And whoever abandoned Banjo is a real life coward. It wasn’t hard to call up HOFA- Heart of Ohio Ferret Association and Rescue. In fact, they came to pick up Banjo within a couple days. Now Banjo’s in ferret foster care until they find loving home to adopt her. Please be responsible. Please only take in animals that you can take care of. If you can no longer provide for your pet, find it a loving home or find an awesome animal shelter. Leaving it at someone’s door is just stupid and unpredictable. Thank you, HOFA. Thank you, you. And good night.

http://www.hofa-rescue.org
Track Name: Happy
LYRICS:

you go to work each day
to a job that hardly pays
with no hope for a raise
doin’ stuff that you hate
but it’s easy
and no one cares when you get there
or when you leave

what are you doin’?
what are you doin’ with your life?
what are you doin’?
what are you doin’ with you time?

so you get home
eat dinner all alone and pet your dog
and watch the evening news and go to bed
so you can get up
and go to that job that you hate

what are you doin’?
what are you doin’ with your life?
what are you doin’?
what are you doin’ with you time?

and then one day, just another day
you wake up and decide to skip a day of work
of that job that you hate- oh how you hate it
so you determine to have some fun
so you get out a pair of scissors
and decide to run around
b/c your parents always told you
you’d poke your eyes out
so you run and run and run
all around your house
you run and run and run
around your backyard
and then you trip
b/c you forgot to dig up that tree root
that’s protruding out of the ground
and all of a sudden you see blood
dripping on the grass
but you don’t see it that well
b/c you realize
that it’s dripping from your eye
so you can only see the blood dripping
out of your good eye
so you laugh and laugh and laugh
and can’t stop laughing
so you choke and choke and choke
on the blood that keeps dripping from your eye
and you die on the spot
with the scissors in your eye
and your mouth filled up with blood
but you were happy
for the first time in years
so so happy
based on the irony of what had happened
but you wished that your loved ones
could know that you died so happy
but you knew you weren’t a pretty site
with the scissors in your eye
and your mouth filled up with blood
if only they could know how you felt.
Track Name: Just a Glass
WORDS-

Just a Glass
Chords: Eb-G-Ab-G BPM: 105

Just a glass of wine with dinner
Just a glass or two to relax
Just a sip of wine to melt the stress away
Oh- it’s so good for your health

No, you can’t be an alcoholic
If you know how to hold the glass
If you can swirl the wine around
In the glass and inside of your mouth

No, you can’t have a drinkin’ problem
If you look for the legs of the wine
If you can smell the bouquet and aroma
And know how to take your sweet time

Just a glass of wine with dinner
Just a glass or two to relax
Just a sip of wine to melt the stress away
Oh- it’s so good for your health

No, you can’t be a booze abuser
If you put your nose in the glass
If you inhale the aroma deeply
And you can tell the difference

No, you don’t need to join AA
If you know the right words to use
If you can taste the body and balance
And smell oak, flowers, and fruit

And you can’t be an alcoholic
If you count the finish after you sip
If you note the after taste
And remember to do all of this…

Just a glass of wine with dinner
Just a glass or two to relax
Just a sip of wine to melt the stress away
Oh- it’s so good for your health

Just a glass.